Day 9 join :: 2019 FMF 31 Days Writing Challenge :: Going With God

​Okay, I confess. I am a pastor’s wife.

I didn’t dream about growing up to be a pastor’s wife when I was a little girl.

I dreamed about being on stage acting. Playing different characters like one of my favorite actresses, Carol Burnett.

Something happened on the way to the theater. I met a Pastor. A Youth Pastor, to be precise.  Cue plot twist.

We talked about being in the ministry and expectations of congregations and how we could use our gifts together and separately. We discussed what would happen when we started a family throwing in another plot twist in my mind.

We went back and forth with ideas, each verbalizing their vision of what our future might look like. This vision casting wasn’t completed in a day or a week or even before we got married. This was a multi-layered issue that would live quietly and not so quietly in the shadows of our relationship because to tell you the truth, my desire for acting and drama went deeper than I wanted to admit.

Elizabeth Elliot has described authentic love as sacrifice. Putting someone else’s needs before our own. This was my struggle. Not necessarily fighting against David’s desires, but God’s. I wanted to be married, have kids, even learn how to step into the role of The Pastor’s Wife, but I also wanted what I wanted.

That’s the thing about going with God. His way is the good way. But good isn’t always easy. Marriage is good. Children are a blessing, the little stinkers. Spending lots of time apart from both is NOT good. So what’s a girl to do?

Posturing, ranting, digging in my heels is not going to win points with God. James 4:6 says, “But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.’”

And yet we read about the gifts that God Himself gives to us, for His glory.  How then are we to use those God-given endowments?

I have found that the greatest strength we can build into our marriage is a mutual support, a give and take if you will, that works together for the benefit of all. It resembles a dovetail joint in furniture.

Joined together so no one may pull us apart. Giving and receiving strength and support for a lifetime.

True for marriage.

And in a similar way God desires us to join our hearts with His for a united purpose.

Psalm 86:11 Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name.
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How about you? How have you found balance between using your gifts without losing sight of your call?

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“There are two parts to a dovetail joint, pins and tails. The tails look like the tail of a dove (hence the name), and the pins are on the opposite board and fit in between the tails to create a joint that is impossible to pull apart in at least one direction. Add some glue, clamp the joint together well, and it will be impossible to pull apart in the other direction as well.” https://www.toolstoday.com/g-46-dovetail-joints-different-types-and-their-uses