19. FMF prompt - Who

My 31 Free Writes for October play out like a serial love story in an old time magazine. It’s the saga of a young woman and how God leads her to the love of her life. Each day offers new developments in a romance only the Lord could write.

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Who are the people in your life? Family is that first influential social group we are connected with. Behaviors and ideologies are formed, sometimes based on tendencies linked to generations previous.

Marriage joins two individuals from different upbringings and melds them together into a new family unit with unique characteristics based in their families of origin. Soon, the married couple finds out that although love will keep them together, it will take a determined dedication to work out the kinks that form from the blending.

David and I had enjoyed many conversations sharing thoughts on Christianity and religion, opinions on family life and politics, and dreams of what we’d hope the future might look like. David easily verbalized his side. He had grown up in a family of talkers who shared their views confidently and at times rowdily. David has three brothers and, in my opinion, is the most deferential in his approach. His voice would be the most diplomatic of the bunch. That’s one of the characteristics I first noticed about him. I was grateful for it.

I, on the other hand, had grown up in a family of hiders. My dad, the ‘rageaholic’, would go off on a vulgar rant, or worse, vent his anger on my oldest brother, and the rest of us usually would go to our rooms and wait for the storm to blow over. If you wait long enough you don’t have to communicate about the episode. Resolution was done in silence. The less said, the better.

Can you guess what happened when David and I had our first real disagreement? I can’t recall the details only that he eloquently defended his side of the argument and I stormed off to the bedroom to wait it out. He followed me down the hall, chattering all the way. At the threshold I paused and turned to face him. “I know you want to take care of this now, but I am not ready to talk. I don’t want to say something I will regret later. Let me have some time to think, okay?”

He agreed, watching the door close. The waiting game was on. For him, it would mean coming to an amicable consensus on the problem at hand. For me, I hoped and prayed that it would disappear if I gave it enough time.

Cue the Jeopardy theme song, “THINK!”

My genius plan was working until I opened the door and peeked out. Rats! He was sitting on the floor right outside our bedroom! “Are you ready to talk yet?”

“No!”

“How much longer?”

“Not sure.”

“Fine. I’ll be here when you’re ready. I love you.”

Double rats! I couldn’t do this any longer. It was time for me to find my words.

I prayed that God would show me what it was that I needed to say.

Why was I angry?

What was my point?

Verbal debate was not in my skill set. Oh, I had my opinions about things but not the voice so they would be heard.

This was a facet of sanctification that marriage would develop in me with, the help of my hubby. I, in turn, would help him in understanding that sometimes it really is beneficial to wait before one speaks.
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Just not forever.

 
Ecclesiates 3:7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.

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