17. Pause

My 31 Free Writes for October play out like a serial love story in an old time magazine. It’s the saga of a young woman and how God leads her to the love of her life. Each day offers new developments in a romance only the Lord could write.

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Silence
Gap
Awkward moment
Suspension
Breather
The button I want to push when I’m overwhelmed and just want to stop the world from spinning out of control………... I’m okay………………... I’m okay…..

Emotions are sneaky little things that ambush you at the most inconvenient times.

I remember my wedding day so clearly. I had anticipated the before and after of my life that would take place on that day. I was in love with the man I had prayed for, happily walking the rest of my life by his side.

So why was it when we went to my parent’s house after our honeymoon to gather up all my worldly possessions and transfer them to my new digs did my stomach clench and I became chocked up and teary eyed?

Mom saw my emotional response before I had a chance to recover. She asked me if I was having second thoughts. UGH! No, Mom, I am NOT having second thoughts. I’m not sure what I’m having, but it most certainly is not second thoughts.

So Lord? What was I dealing with?

I realized as each piece of furniture and box of odd and ends was carried out the door I was watching my childhood come to an end. Not a perfect childhood, but a comfort of knowing that someone was taking care of me. Adulthood was somewhere in the future.

Before my very eyes I transitioned from engaged daughter to married wife. There’s an odd sense of detachment when the heart and the brain have to settle a matter once and for all.Therein lies the pause.

The brain knows it all. The brain deals in facts and reasons.

The heart throws in curve balls and trick plays and rain delays just because it can.

Just to be heard.

Just …. because.

And with a gulp and a smile my heart and brain came to the consensus that this is the way it must be.

Truth and love.

Leaving and cleaving.
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Trusting God for it all.
 
Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.
 
Is there a transition in your life right now that has given you pause? 

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