13. Talk

My 31 Free Writes for October play out like a serial love story in an old time magazine. It’s the saga of a young woman and how God leads her to the love of her life. Each day offers new developments in a romance only the Lord could write.

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It’s one thing to find your true love and decide to spend the rest of your lives together. It’s quite another to plan the wedding uniting two families via this union.

David’s idea was to get married in the April or May. I interjected a dose of reality and said there was no way we could get married until the fall, maybe October. But, I would have been thrilled to elope and not have to deal with it altogether.

So next came telling our parents that we were engaged. David had never met my father and had only seen my mom a handful of times. I suggested that we plan a dinner when we could present our plans for the future. David seemed to be fine with this and we looked at the best time to arrange it.

David had proposed Monday evening and that Saturday morning he calls me and asks if he could come over to meet my dad. Red flag!

Let me explain that my dad had his own schedule he kept and was for the most part vaguely involved with the family. Polite existence. Saturday was his YMCA time to play volleyball or floor hockey and when it was time to go he was outta’ here.

“This isn’t a good time. He’s getting ready to go to the Y.”

“Oh, I understand. I just wanted to meet him.”

Quiet.

“Vicki?”

“It’s really not a good time.”

“Okay, I understand.”

Oh, Lord. Help us get through this planning time. I just want to be married.

My dad was just gathering his workout stuff when I hear knocking on the front door. Sure enough, David smiles and explains that he was only going to drop by for a minute or so. I give him the I-can’t-believe-you-came-over-here-when-I-said-not-to stare.

Of COURSE I had to introduce him to my dad. Of COURSE we had to sit down and chit chat about the beautiful weather, do you go to the ‘Y’ every Saturday, yes he’s my boyfriend…… you know, typical.

Then David begins to explain that our relationship is beyond just being friends. We want to get married and would like to have their blessing. David asked for my dad’s permission to marry me. I crumpled up inside, dreading what my father’s response would be.

“Well, Whatever Vicki wants to do. We trust her judgement. Wouldn’t mind seeing you more around here. Excuse me, but I have to go.”

And he was gone.

My heart dropped. Like a hot potato.

Conflicting emotions bubbled up vying for my attention. Anger. Frustration. Shame. Worthlessness.

David stayed and talked to my mom a little bit longer and then he and I made plans to get together later because he needed to leave.

He held me tight and said he was sorry things had turned out like that. He honestly couldn’t have anticipated my dad’s emotionless response. It was no surprise to me. Living with a distant father was what I knew.

I also knew that I had chosen a good and godly man who valued me and was in it for the long haul, bad timing and everything.

 Ecclesiastes 8:6 For there is a proper time and procedure for every delight, though a man's trouble is heavy upon him.

How has God met you in those less than perfect times of life?

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